Thursday, January 15, 2009

Worst Comic Ever

I don't mean to keep harping on the shittyness of Jeph Loeb but what the fuck!!!!!!!

I bought Ultimate Hulk Annual #1 without knowing anything about it. I grabbed it for a quick read on the shitter. After I was done, I would've wiped my ass with it if the staples wouldn't have cut into my hemorrhoids (um...moving on). I swear this was horrible. I got halfway through the issue and thought, "Who wrote this pile of shit, Jeph Loeb?" I looked and it was him! I kid you not!

Let me tell you the basic summary of this story. 

Zarda from the Squadron Supreme has been left behind in the Ultimate Universe. She beats up the Wrecking Crew and as she gets ready to kill the Wrecker, is stopped by Captain America who let's her know that good guys don't kill. So far nothing out of the ordinary other than the fact that Ultimate Captain America has no problem killing people! That's ok thought. Let's just call it a minor continuity glitch that only a nerd would catch.

But then the horror begins...

Zarda goes to a restaurant and sees the Hulk arguing with the maitre d'. The restaurant has decided to not seat the Hulk because HE ISN'T WEARING PANTS!!!!!!!!!! Zarda and Hulk fight. Zarda beats up Hulk, but she doesn't kill him because public service announcements by Captain America are never forgotten. Instead, she drags the unconscious Hulk to a clothing store and buys him pants!

Then they have sex.

The end.

Jeph Loeb must be stopped. He is easily the worst writer in comics. He makes Judd Winnick look like Alan Moore. It's unbelievable that this guy is given work.

I feel dumber after having read this.


  1. Line of the year!

    The restaurant has decided to not seat the Hulk because HE ISN'T WEARING PANTS!!!!!!!!!!

  2. You faggot. Quit yer bitching queer bait and fuck yer mommy.

  3. A poorly written tirade about how you shouldn't complain about how much a Jeph Loeb comic sucks... who woulda thunk Jeph Loeb reads your blog.

  4. This blog entry is true. This comic actually happened, and is the reason I now steal comics off the internet rather than pay actual money for them. Jeph Loeb is the longest running joke in comics.