I know I know. I've been gone for about 7 months. Bite me.
Today's edition of Who Would You Rather? focuses on the girls of the WB. Let's not waste any time.
From left: Leighton Meester, Jessica Szohr, Taylor Momsen and Blake Lively
For a lot of people, these girls should win this. But for me, most of these girls are underwhelming. Blake Lively has an amazing body and I think she's allergic to bras, but there is something about her face that reminds me of the Sea Hag from Popeye.
Leighton Meester is ok, but just has a boring look. Taylor Momsen is 16 and from photos is made up to look like a Raggedy Ann doll so go get your pedophile fix somewhere else. Jessica Szohr is alright, but nothing to write home about. The Gossip Girl girls are good, but that's about it. At least they aren't as bad as my next entry:
Where to begin with this group? Ok, let me start by saying that Jessica Lowndes is very hot:
Tori Spelling leads the new 90210 cast members on their first day on set.
Where did they find these girls? Obviously the casting director was not a guy, because not self-respecting straight man would've picked these girls. When I long for the days of Donna Martin graduating because of her looks, then I know there's a problem.
From left: Stephanie Jacobsen, Jessica Lucas, Laura Leighton, Katie Cassidy and Ashlee Simpson
Laura Leighton is 41 years old. She wasn't hot when the show first started and she's not hot now. Ashlee Simpson has improved, but there was nowhere else for her to go but up. Katie Cassidy and Stephanie Jacobsen have amazing bodies and they are both pretty hot, but there is one girl that stands out and that is Jessica Lucas.
From left: Jessica Lucas and Mrs. Howell
Look at that body. Holy crap! This girl is so fine that she beats the previous two casts almost singlehandedly. Hopefully, Melrose Place gets cancelled soon and she goes on to a great career in something better. Or porn.
From left: Sara Canning, Nina Dobrev, Candice Accola and Kayla Ewell
But our winners are the girls of Vampire Diaries. Firstly, these girls are hot even in their mugshots after getting arrested for flashing motorists from a highway bridge.
All of these girls have amazing bodies and are cute to boot. Nina Dobrev is the star of the show and she has legs that run up to her head. She is gorgeous and in any other world, she would be the hottest girl from her show. But alas, it is not meant to be:
Meet Katerina Graham. And with that, the girls of Vampire Diaries destroy all three other shows combined.