Who Would You Rather 4?

I know I know. I've been gone for about 7 months. Bite me.

Today's edition of Who Would You Rather? focuses on the girls of the WB. Let's not waste any time.

From left: Leighton Meester, Jessica Szohr, Taylor Momsen and Blake Lively

Gossip Girl

For a lot of people, these girls should win this. But for me, most of these girls are underwhelming. Blake Lively has an amazing body and I think she's allergic to bras, but there is something about her face that reminds me of the Sea Hag from Popeye.

Leighton Meester is ok, but just has a boring look. Taylor Momsen is 16 and from photos is made up to look like a Raggedy Ann doll so go get your pedophile fix somewhere else. Jessica Szohr is alright, but nothing to write home about. The Gossip Girl girls are good, but that's about it. At least they aren't as bad as my next entry:

From left: Jessica Stroup, Shenae Grimes, Jessica Lowndes and AnnaLynne McCord

90210 

Where to begin with this group? Ok, let me start by saying that Jessica Lowndes is very hot:

Now with that out of the way, this is the photo I considered using for the rest of the cast:

Tori Spelling leads the new 90210 cast members on their first day on set.

Where did they find these girls? Obviously the casting director was not a guy, because not self-respecting straight man would've picked these girls. When I long for the days of Donna Martin graduating because of her looks, then I know there's a problem.

From left: Stephanie Jacobsen, Jessica Lucas, Laura Leighton, Katie Cassidy and Ashlee Simpson

Melrose Place

Laura Leighton is 41 years old. She wasn't hot when the show first started and she's not hot now. Ashlee Simpson has improved, but there was nowhere else for her to go but up. Katie Cassidy and Stephanie Jacobsen have amazing bodies and they are both pretty hot, but there is one girl that stands out and that is Jessica Lucas.

From left: Jessica Lucas and Mrs. Howell

Look at that body. Holy crap! This girl is so fine that she beats the previous two casts almost singlehandedly. Hopefully, Melrose Place gets cancelled soon and she goes on to a great career in something better. Or porn.

From left: Sara Canning, Nina Dobrev, Candice Accola and Kayla Ewell

Vampire Diaries

But our winners are the girls of Vampire Diaries. Firstly, these girls are hot even in their mugshots after getting arrested for flashing motorists from a highway bridge. 

All of these girls have amazing bodies and are cute to boot. Nina Dobrev is the star of the show and she has legs that run up to her head. She is gorgeous and in any other world, she would be the hottest girl from her show. But alas, it is not meant to be:

Meet Katerina Graham. And with that, the girls of Vampire Diaries destroy all three other shows combined.

Thoughts?

Who Would You Rather? 3

Girls Next Door Edition

Kendra Wilkinson

Bridget Marquardt

Holly Madison

Let's start this off by getting rid of Bridget right off the bat. She is the oldest, the fattest (by Hollywood and Playboy standards) and the ugliest. At the Playboy Mansion, women like Bridget are usually taken back to the grotto and are Old Yellered.

Now we come down to Kendra and Holly. Kendra is easily hotter and prettier than Holly. She is into sports and plays the tomboy part well. She is probably also a really wild lay. Seems like an open and shut easy win for Kendra doesn't it? Well, no.

Now many of you won't agree with me (and I don't give a shit) but there is something about Holly that gives her the slight edge in my book. She is completely insane. Only a nutjob (or golddigger, but she could be both) would want Hef's 8,000-year-old seed in her. Holly kept talking about wanting to marry Hef and have children with him. This girl is batshit insane, which makes me think that she is all about being freaky in bed (jacuzzi, elevator, airplane). She seems the type that would do "anything" to please her guy and for that, Holly slightly edges out Kendra.

Thoughts?

Who Would You Rather 2?

Tricia Helfer (BSG)

Evangeline Lilly (Lost)

Yvonne Strahovski (Chuck)

You know that these three are mega hotties when Tricia Helfer finishes in third place. 

Helfer is super hot as a Cylon in BSG, but for me, she is a bit behind the other two.

Now, if you asked me three years ago who was hotter than Evangeline Lilly, I would find it difficult to come up with an answer. "Freckles" has one of the best bodies I have ever seen, and even though she was dating that Hobbit guy, I couldn't hold it against her. If I ever met him, I would probably kill him and take his body to a lab to be dissected. Then we could find out what type of weird scent he was releasing that would make a girl like her want to have sex with a guy like him.

But then one day a crazy thing happened, I started watching a show about a nerd working at Best Buy. When I first saw Yvonne Strahovski, I actually wasn't that impressed. I thought she was just another hot blonde, but that was about it. But as she kicked ass in skimpier outfits every episode, my lust meter went through the roof. I know it's weird to say, but her character changed my perception of her. At times she had that innocent fuck me look. Then it was an ass kicking fuck me look. Other times it was a stern fuck me look. Her fuck me look range was off the charts!

So to sum up, Strahovski would be my choice at the moment barely edging out Lilly. This could change as easily as the direction of the wind, but that is my final answer today.

Thoughts?

Who Would You Rather?

From top to bottom: Minka Kelly, Megan Fox and Odette Yustman.

So this is a tough one. 

Minka Kelly has that girl next door vibe. It helps that she plays a cheerleader on Friday Night Lights. 

Megan Fox is the BA-ZOW! of this group. You look and her and your erection smacks you in the face (well mine does, not sure about you pee-wee). This girl oozes whore and if she had an STD you would probably tell her that you've been always looking to get syphilis and if she knew someone who had it.

Odette Yustman is the winner though. She is a combination of Fox and Kelly. She has the girl next door looks, but also would do very dirty things to you behind closed doors. Come on, you all saw the "Fuck me" eyes she was giving the Cloverfield monster. Yustman wins this round.

Thoughts?